- Thought by Debbie in 'Hurrah for the Hols' by Helen Simpson.
I just found this so apt for what I've been wanting to post about...
How are you today?? I practically am the biggest fool on earth to have forgotten my project report for my exams today... And I am extremely grateful to my uncle who came to my college to give it to me (twice, not to mention....I am so so sorry for all the trouble I've caused. Stupid me)...
Coming back to that thought, it's not a ''thought'' thought...you know...it's what Debbie 'thinks' when she hears the sound of a child crying....
Please let me make this clear, again, as this is just my rant, and I really hope all of the children will agree with me....This is just my point of view. So, I hope you broaden your mind and try to think of it this way...
Okay, sorry, I'll get to the point...
Parents versus Children.... A never ending, constant squabble (though I really want to say battle...*imagines a battlefield with armies of middle aged parents and kids, on either side* *rofl*). I seriously haven't got a clue about the parent's point of view, so I'm writing this on behalf of all the children.... Or maybe just...as a mediator between the two...and being more on the latter's side... kekeke...
Welcome to Parenting 101:
1. If you are not ready to raise a child, take care of them, make them into great individuals, then DON'T HAVE CHILDREN. Yet. I am sure there are many ways to satisfy your needs without "accidentally" giving birth to a child. (I am strictly against infanticide, btw who isn't!, so please, have some sense). Please grow up and learn more before you take up the decision to bring a child to the world. Obviously, it IS your fault if your child does something wrong, because you have brought them up that way.
It is definitely true when they say parents pass on abilities to their children, well, they also pass on their bad habits too, FYI.
I have literally seen, kids going the wrong way. And there's nothing I can do about it. Because, my mom says I have no right to scold other people's children. Thanks mom. You have put a Lakshman rekha which I won't cross, but I know it's for my own good. (Even now, as I write this I am controlling myself from literally lashing out...Oh my god, the kind of people in this world...I really pity their children)
2. I'm reading this book called 'You are a Badass' by Jen Sincero and she tells that our mind has mainly two parts, the conscious mind and the sub-conscious mind. The conscious mind develops around puberty and it filters the information it receives and runs our life pretty much till the end. Whereas our sub-conscious mind has no filter. It just takes in everything and forms a belief system. And this sub-conscious mind is what we are born with. It is completely ready when we are born. SO, since our conscious minds only develop around puberty, as kids, we take in everything to our sub-conscious mind. (Gahh, how do I explain this?!) what I mean is, we all think kids are kids, they don't understand anything or they are too little to understand anything. BUT, that is not at all the case.
Do you see how important your child's formative years are??!! What we say, EVERY word, every action, every explanation gets lodged in their sub-conscious mind and it is interpreted already, forming a belief or set of values.
Don't you think it is important to teach them the right thing, not neglect them, explain it to them properly? If they don't understand, what is wrong in telling, 'honey, you won't understand it now! Please don't worry about it, One day, when you are older, you will.' HUH, what's wrong in that? When parents can't explain it properly to the kid, where will he/she go, looking for answers? Friends? Cousins? The internet? (that's how they become spoiled brats)
Hence, this goes back to the first point again.
3. Okay, so you passed the first two points. You have a kid/s, you are a wonderful couple, teaching them all the right values (beating the crap out of them, who knows), telling the difference between right and wrong, loving them, spending time with them...yeah...all good. But let me tell you how important it is to let them know about manners/behaviors. I am really stunned when I see kids throwing temper tantrums, and their own parents cannot calm them down. Okay, I agree, kids do throw tantrums, it's their nature..They want the toy! (like how we adults want toys *evil grin*, but we have self-control. kids don't). They think that by throwing a tantrum, making a scene, you will buy them the toy. BUT there is a clear difference between throwing a tantrum and acting like the President's grandchild.(again, spoiled brats)
Please listen here, the 'new generation' 'hippy' parents, your children are far more intelligent. So it is in your hands to be more intelligent and teach them how to behave in public domain.
I also would like to point out that there is a very wide gap between strict and scary. You need to know the difference between being strict and being scary. And so should your child.
Parents also need to know between showing them love, to suffocating them to death with love. That's what usually makes them brats. (just telling 'don't do that' when your child practically brings down the house, is not the right way of going about it. I'm sure many of you will agree)
4. which brings us to the last point (these many I can think of, for now...) I think this is the most important of all. Don't, PLEASE, don't fight in front of your kids. Whether they are babies or 8 years or 10 or 20 or 30, just don't. I don't know how hard marriage is. Yes, you will definitely have clashes along the way, you will not agree on things, so yeah there will be arguments. BUT, but, not in front of your kid.
These stupid parents have no idea, right children? How much it affects us, how much it eats us up... seeing them argue....over something so silly and stupid.
For parents, it may be at the heat of the moment, a sudden outburst because of tension. whatever it is, to kids it is not like that. Seeing parents argue, has such a negative effect on them. Hearing them say 'marrying you was a mistake' is something no child should ever hear. But I guess, all children would have heard that. And they probably would've cried all night.
But, the stupid parents don't know right? They continue their arguments..... And the kids probably think 'if you don't mean what you say, how did you get the courage to say it? How could you even think of saying it?' or maybe they'll think 'wow, this is my queue to get up and run as far as I can' or maybe 'how did two such dolts end up with each other?' hahaha (sorry! wanted to make it funny)
And then, the kids move on..... praying they'll be better parents....
Lots of Love,
Stay Healthy, Stay Happy.
P.S : I have not talked about parents who lash out at their children or incessantly beat them, because I don't even want to go there. Such people do not deserve to be called 'parents'.