A STANDSTILL

Hello,

It's been a while.

This whole post is going to sound like a puzzle or maybe just stupid. But it is what it is.

The past few weeks have been a revelation. Haha. Revelation (noun) - a surprising and previously unknown fact, especially one that is made known in a dramatic way.

Ironic that I chose that word.

I have been tested like never before. I pushed my boundaries and made leaps, some foolish ones. Okay, most of them were foolish. Every aspect of myself has been challenged and it has left me feeling empty. I thought I hated drama, but I have learned that I am very dramatic. I feel like I don't even know who I am.

So, I am going to explore. I am going to question every thought and filter everything that comes into my life. I will go back to certain memories (which are not going to be that reliable) and look at them differently and I will revisit what I put into my head when I was a child.

And therefore, I have even questioned why I started this blog in the first place. And whether I should continue it. I don't know if I'm being too open about personal stuff or if I'm just blabbering random crap. I need to decide on what I want to do with this blog.
Plus, I have to read a lot more science and stay up-to-date.

Until then,

I will be taking a hiatus.

Thank you for your time.

VI.

2018 IN REVIEW

Helloooo,

New Year, New Day, Same old me. lol
It's been one month already. Guess some things never change. 😂😂
(Nah. Not gonna say that.)

So, I hope you all have been having a wonderful start to the new year. I did have an amazing start. Got to spend some time with my brother at California and then it snowed in Boston! Classes started! And it's already February. I'm sorry, what!? *looks around* Arey! Somebody break this stupid time! so that it'll go slow!!

Dragging myself back to the point, it's time for a review of 2018. You see, I tried writing it down but that never happened. Some things just flow when you're on a blogging page. (says this dumbass)

Twenty Eighteen.
The year of so many events. It taught me many things, even till the end of December 31st.
The year of learning. Of utter bitterness and overwhelming feelings.
The year of changes. It was totally opposite than 'consistency' which was my word of the year. But it's okay. It was a year of many things, so I'm fine with that.

As usual, my year started with Infinite. Listening to their songs, discussing their new album. I started my final year project and things became hectic. But we had so much fun! My buddy lost her phone! And we literally chased the f**king thief on my scooty! The complete opposite of fun, I tell you. I met a few TeamSuper mates and it was hilarious! I literally went crazy applying for universities!

And had almost given up hope, when I got the offer letter from Boston University. I had called my brother the next freaking second and then my parents! That day was surreal. I had achieved my number one goal for the year! Getting admitted to a university in the U.S.!

Then the last semester of Masters. The final day in Mysuru!
And then shifting back home and cleaning my room for three days straight. Going back for laboratory practicals and then coming back reading books.
The two whole months of free time where I read as many books as I could. And traveled to Chennai for my visa interview and had a whole lot of fun with my buddy.

I also hosted a going-away party to bring all of my favorite people at one place, which was an awesome day! Even though some of my best peeps didn't turn up, it turned out to be a wonderful time.

And then, I flew 7124 miles from India to Boston! And you know the rest. I told you all about it in the previous post!

But, I should tell you about the ''Behind The Scenes". What was happening on the other side.

The entire year went downhill. I feel like I lost my confidence as the year progressed. My thinking turned negative unknowingly. I slowly fell into a deep dark pit of despair. I learned that I am a coward. A big, fat coward who hides behind the pretense of 'not knowing anything'. And that I also criticize myself. You see what I did there? Exactly.

These thoughts were so self-crippling. And being on social media and receiving a whole load of information every day did not help. I tried so hard to come out of that pit. I'm still trying to come out of it.
But I have also learned so many things about myself and the people around me. It has been a real eye-opener. There is a whole different world out here where people are more open-minded and welcome you with open arms. There are people who understand you and appreciate you instead of making fun of you; who genuinely want to know about you; who work hard; who f**king make plans and keep up to them. Organized people. Knowledgeable people. People who love self-help books. Yes. Self-help. People who are confident and smart and mean what they say. People who don't judge. People who don't talk behind your back.

I am grateful for having this opportunity to meet them. I am grateful for twenty eighteen.
Here's to you boi, for an eye-opening helluva year.
And 2019 - another year of learning, growing and CLIMBING.

Life Update 2.

Well well well, Hellooo from Boston!!

How are you??
How's life? Everything going well? (stupid question to ask when it's the middle of the week; it's still Thursday...No it's Friday back home. I'm blabbering)

For those who have no clue whatsoever, I am in Boston! to pursue my second masters' degree in science journalism. It's been three weeks (almost) since I've been here and it has been very challenging. (Yup, challenging is a good word to describe it.)

So you guessed right. I will be talking about the past weeks and the transition.

I was and am (still) excited about being here. I think that's something that won't go away, at least for now. I'm trying not to be excited because I have this stupid belief that if I keep up this excitement, something sad will happen. I think I'm confusing excitement with expectations.

Back to the point, I was excited about coming here and I was ready for everything. I knew full well it would be difficult. I would be living on my own, making decisions by myself, cooking, cleaning and keeping my health in check - basically being independent. And of course, studies. I knew it would be difficult. I was prepared mentally.

But what I did not expect, and did not prepare for, was the loneliness. I was so sure (damn, look at my confidence -_- ) that I would come here and I would make friends and we would all hang out and have fun. Like who did I think I was? Yes, it's not like that won't happen. Maybe it will, maybe it won't. But to expect it as soon as you come to a foreign land where you are fucking ignored by your own fellow countrymen is just comical (satirically). (I'll go more into this a bit later)

Let me start from the beginning.

I landed in Boston and had to take a taxi to the place where I was going to be staying for a few days. The taxi driver didn't speak English properly so he dropped me far from the place. I had to lug my luggage - three bags out of which two were 23 kgs - to the apartment complex, which, by the way, was freaking hidden from view.
I went into private driveways and was even questioned by the people who lived there. Then, I finally found the complex.
And my host was so very kind that she was not even waiting outside the apartment. I had to literally search all the complexes, find the right one and ring the freaking doorbell of their place. (Oh, and it was a Saturday. The weekend.)

And then, I was stranded for like - two times, because I was so stupid and unprepared. The first time, I got down at a station and waited for the bus (that would take me home) for like forty-five minutes and that did not happen. My phone was dead (stupid ass battery) and I had no way of contacting my brother. That day was a freaking test set up by the heavens.
But then, the people are so nice here, I asked to borrow a phone and I made the call, and somehow, I got home. (My bro booked an Uber for me which, by the way, had the kindest driver ever.)

The second time - as usual, my phone is dead again, but this time, I knew how to get home. But, I had this huge book-shelf with me, which I couldn't take in the tram here (weird rules). Again, I borrowed a phone and called my brother and he booked an Uber for me.
The freaking Uber never came. That son-of-a-beautiful-lady has told my bro that he's picked me and dropped me, whereas here I am, waiting since an hour for the damn Uber.
I was almost at my limit, but I tried my best to keep myself from bawling out and left the shelf in a bar nearby (I didn't even know it was a bar, I thought it was a restaurant, but the guy was really nice and let me leave it there in the back) and got back home.

I should probably explain about the phone situation. I had not bought a US sim card and hence did not have internet once I was outside. Literally had to hunt for the wifi everywhere (and even after moving into my apartment).

Despite all this, I was still excited and looking forward to the days. Then it was orientation. That was like lukewarm water. There were all these different people from various backgrounds and as usual, my confidence level was below zero - I was nervous and just weird.

Anyway, it was after the first class. That class, where I had to introduce myself to my classmates and vice-versa and also know what I was getting into. I was just at my limit after that class. I had a breakdown in the tram while I went to the T-mobile store (to finally get a freaking prepaid sim).
I did not care if people saw me (considering I'm so conscious all the freaking time!!). I think that was when I realized I was expecting unrealistic things and had to just let it all go.
[The crying] continued while I came back and even in the stairway to my apartment.
That was when I allowed myself to think of home and family and comfort. Because I knew if I thought about it any other time, it would open a dam.

But I am that person who feels crying is therapeutic. So, it was and I felt better after that. Really good. And energized.

So, I picked myself up and did things I could do best and leave everything else to the higher power. Things are fine for now. Thank you for asking.
(I don't know who I'm talking to. Hello Mr.Nobody who reads my blog. And two other people I know who definitely read my blog. Thank you).

Will definitely keep you updated.

Be healthy, be happieee

Vivacious inspirit.

P.S. - ah, about the Indians? Well, that will take up another post I think, but let me put it in brief - what the fuck is all your problem?! I have smiled and tried to make conversation with Indians, and it doesn't work out at all. I guess they're all interested in making friends with foreigners and not with their own countrymen. Even after coming here, you want to show your attitude.
I think that's the difference between here and India. Here, strangers smile at you and ask you how you're doing, but your own people just look through you as if you don't exist.
Or maybe I'm giving out killer vibes. Murderous intents. lol. I did not know I was capable of that. Fine, I will try harder. *sighs*

P.P.S - I'm excited about the snow. I will go all out and not give a damn about what who thinks and play till I'm exhausted. *jinx* *fingers crossed*

PACKING LIST FOR MOVING TO ANOTHER COUNTRY

Hello!

Now that everything is finalized, I can say without hesitation that I'll be moving to Boston this month, to pursue my Masters' in Science Journalism!

Background: *screams* woohooooo

Therefore, I started writing a list of the things I would have to take. I researched and found no proper packing list which was suitable for students (especially) who are moving to another country. And then it flashed - what if I make a packing list and put it in my blog? *pats self*

So, here it is!
I wracked my brain and wrote this list which includes stuff for both men and women (mostly women, I must say).
Feel free to download it or take a printout and check off the things you have taken.

Hope it helps!



A couple of things before I sign off -

1) I am a stationery freak, so I included that section. Please ignore it if you don't intend to take any. But I must say that it is better to take the basic stuff, because stationery will obviously be expensive where you're going.

2) Coming to the kitchenware, I heard that they do not allow pressure cookers now (not really sure). And of course, all the Indian Stores will have all the utensils and even the sambhar/rasam powders (again, it's my hunch. It all depends on the country you're going to. USA - yes, they do have it, but it's better to be prepared).

3) It may seem far-fetched but trust me, you'll need it. And also make sure your suitcase is not over 23 kilograms!


Have fun packing!!

Stay Healthy and Happiee,

Love,

Vivacious Inspirit.

UPDATE - The Hell! I forgot to add the most important thing! Sanitary napkins! Shit! *runs to the list*

BOOKS


Books.
Stories.
Novels.
Tales.

Apart from music, the other thing I can't live without are books. I love reading. Diving into the world of enchantments, fantasies filled with faeries and magic and hidden powers or those with mysteries and clues and justice and romance..... *sighs*. I am lost in the genres of the books available in this world.

I love to read. When I was young (younger. get it? lol), I was so proud of myself that I was a book nerd (Let me tell you in advance that this was because I had read all the Harry Potter books and some of the books in my school library). Little did I know that there was a whole other world out there filled with so many amazing books, full of other worlds and such fantastic characters that (now) keep me awake at night.

I should reiterate that I am not bragging about my reading capabilities. Hell no. Compared to the wise people out there who have read, like 600 books roughly (goodreads stalking) I am nowhere. My reading list is not even reached a 3 digit number. 23 years of my life and I've not even read books that count up to 3 digits. Shame. But yes, in my family I am regarded as a 'reader' and my cousins (sometimes) come to me for book recommendations. (Okay, just one cousin. But I am so freaking happy that there's at least ONE).

Anyway, I found out about this huge reading geniuses through YouTube. There is a BookTube (not another website per say) but a community in YouTube, of readers who make videos about books - books read, to-be-read, reviews, spoiler reviews and reading vlogs and so much more. (My favourite being Sasha Alsberg).

So why am I telling you all this? I honestly have no clue. I just want to get it out.

As someone who reads and loves reading, I must say that it is both a wonderful experience and a sad one (for me right now, at least). I feel sad that I can't express my love for the books I read with someone, I can't discuss any book with anyone because nobody around me reads the books I read. That last one just....... gets to me, even though I try to brush the stupid thought away.

So, to HELL with this f**king sad feeling and YAY to moving on, being a grown-up and doing something about it.








A STANDSTILL

Hello, It's been a while. This whole post is going to sound like a puzzle or maybe just stupid. But it is what it is. The past fe...