How are you??
How's life? Everything going well? (stupid question to ask when it's the middle of the week; it's still Thursday...No it's Friday back home. I'm blabbering)
For those who have no clue whatsoever, I am in Boston! to pursue my second masters' degree in science journalism. It's been three weeks (almost) since I've been here and it has been very challenging. (Yup, challenging is a good word to describe it.)
So you guessed right. I will be talking about the past weeks and the transition.
I was and am (still) excited about being here. I think that's something that won't go away, at least for now. I'm trying not to be excited because I have this stupid belief that if I keep up this excitement, something sad will happen. I think I'm confusing excitement with expectations.
Back to the point, I was excited about coming here and I was ready for everything. I knew full well it would be difficult. I would be living on my own, making decisions by myself, cooking, cleaning and keeping my health in check - basically being independent. And of course, studies. I knew it would be difficult. I was prepared mentally.
But what I did not expect, and did not prepare for, was the loneliness. I was so sure (damn, look at my confidence -_- ) that I would come here and I would make friends and we would all hang out and have fun. Like who did I think I was? Yes, it's not like that won't happen. Maybe it will, maybe it won't. But to expect it as soon as you come to a foreign land where you are fucking ignored by your own fellow countrymen is just comical (satirically). (I'll go more into this a bit later)
Let me start from the beginning.
I landed in Boston and had to take a taxi to the place where I was going to be staying for a few days. The taxi driver didn't speak English properly so he dropped me far from the place. I had to lug my luggage - three bags out of which two were 23 kgs - to the apartment complex, which, by the way, was freaking hidden from view.
I went into private driveways and was even questioned by the people who lived there. Then, I finally found the complex.
And my host was so very kind that she was not even waiting outside the apartment. I had to literally search all the complexes, find the right one and ring the freaking doorbell of their place. (Oh, and it was a Saturday. The weekend.)
And then, I was stranded for like - two times, because I was so stupid and unprepared. The first time, I got down at a station and waited for the bus (that would take me home) for like forty-five minutes and that did not happen. My phone was dead (stupid ass battery) and I had no way of contacting my brother. That day was a freaking test set up by the heavens.
But then, the people are so nice here, I asked to borrow a phone and I made the call, and somehow, I got home. (My bro booked an Uber for me which, by the way, had the kindest driver ever.)
The second time - as usual, my phone is dead again, but this time, I knew how to get home. But, I had this huge book-shelf with me, which I couldn't take in the tram here (weird rules). Again, I borrowed a phone and called my brother and he booked an Uber for me.
The freaking Uber never came. That son-of-a-beautiful-lady has told my bro that he's picked me and dropped me, whereas here I am, waiting since an hour for the damn Uber.
I was almost at my limit, but I tried my best to keep myself from bawling out and left the shelf in a bar nearby (I didn't even know it was a bar, I thought it was a restaurant, but the guy was really nice and let me leave it there in the back) and got back home.
I should probably explain about the phone situation. I had not bought a US sim card and hence did not have internet once I was outside. Literally had to hunt for the wifi everywhere (and even after moving into my apartment).
Despite all this, I was still excited and looking forward to the days. Then it was orientation. That was like lukewarm water. There were all these different people from various backgrounds and as usual, my confidence level was below zero - I was nervous and just weird.
Anyway, it was after the first class. That class, where I had to introduce myself to my classmates and vice-versa and also know what I was getting into. I was just at my limit after that class. I had a breakdown in the tram while I went to the T-mobile store (to finally get a freaking prepaid sim).
I did not care if people saw me (considering I'm so conscious all the freaking time!!). I think that was when I realized I was expecting unrealistic things and had to just let it all go.
[The crying] continued while I came back and even in the stairway to my apartment.
That was when I allowed myself to think of home and family and comfort. Because I knew if I thought about it any other time, it would open a dam.
But I am that person who feels crying is therapeutic. So, it was and I felt better after that. Really good. And energized.
So, I picked myself up and did things I could do best and leave everything else to the higher power. Things are fine for now. Thank you for asking.
(I don't know who I'm talking to. Hello Mr.Nobody who reads my blog. And two other people I know who definitely read my blog. Thank you).
Will definitely keep you updated.
Be healthy, be happieee
P.S. - ah, about the Indians? Well, that will take up another post I think, but let me put it in brief - what the fuck is all your problem?! I have smiled and tried to make conversation with Indians, and it doesn't work out at all. I guess they're all interested in making friends with foreigners and not with their own countrymen. Even after coming here, you want to show your attitude.
I think that's the difference between here and India. Here, strangers smile at you and ask you how you're doing, but your own people just look through you as if you don't exist.
Or maybe I'm giving out killer vibes. Murderous intents. lol. I did not know I was capable of that. Fine, I will try harder. *sighs*
P.P.S - I'm excited about the snow. I will go all out and not give a damn about what who thinks and play till I'm exhausted. *jinx* *fingers crossed*