It's been two weeks. I know. I know. I was getting settled in Mysuru.
A lame excuse but I have still not worked on everything regarding the internet connection and all that headache.
So, I apologize for the late post.
I never knew how much I missed Bengaluru. My city. Guess it's true that sometimes, you realize your love only when you are far apart. I missed the traffic (can you believe it?!, I can't either), the people, the vibe, the energy of my wonderful city...
Okay, okay putting that aside, in this post I wanted to talk about something that has been bothering me since forever. And in Mysuru, I attended a concert and I got the perfect topic to blog about.
Apart from my studies, this was the one thing I was good at. My parents sent me to learn music - Carnatic Classical music - from a small age. I was not allowed to go to sports or dance or any events because it would get in the way of my studies, but this, this I was pushed to it. Not that I hated it, I didn't think anything of it at the time. I was a kid and I just sang.
I was in fifth grade and it was decided that my brother and all the elder kids would attend the Junior Music Exam, and we (the younger ones) couldn't because of the age restriction. My friend and I cried and begged our teacher to let us attend the exam too. We were on the same level as them, we knew all that they knew too. We had learnt the varnas and keerthanas together. But, my music teacher and all our parents calmed us down...and told us that it was just like that. And they couldn't do anything about it.
When I think about it now, I realize how much I loved this music (and also competing; I still do love music, tch, come now)
So, yes, I finished my junior exams in sixth grade. And then my Senior exams after my tenth grade.
But, by the time of my senior exam, I was exhausted. There had been so much pressure to study as tenth grade was a very big turning point (here, in India, at least) in a student's life. I had just finished my final exams and wanted nothing more than a week of rest, to relax and to breathe.
But that didn't happen as I had to prep for my Senior Music Exam.
My Senior Exam went bad. So bad. I've never told anyone, nobody about what happened in that exam hall. I screwed up like crazy. And to this day, that is one memory I won't go through again. I decided that as soon as I came out of the exam hall. I was completely numb when I came out. I was sure that I would fail the exams.
But, I passed. I was so relieved. Of course, I scored the least among my friends.
Afterwards, the music stopped. It was a string of excuses. My teacher told us that it was time to concentrate on studies, to work hard in PU, and get into a good university. My mom told me that 'Senior' was more than enough in music, that it was a good level to stop at. She also wanted me to focus on studies. And so, it stopped.
I practiced at home, whenever I could. But, you all know how it is. When you don't have something to cling onto, a drive, an inspiration, it doesn't work. For months, I didn't practice....And I lost touch.
Now, I feel sad just thinking about it. I wish someone, anyone had given me a push. Had told me not let go, to continue to practice. It's not that they didn't. My relatives did tell me to continue music. But, it didn't feel like they meant it. That they were truly cheering for me. They said it just for the sake of it. (now, my cousin is here, to inspire me and tell me to pursue music, to learn whatever I can while I'm still a student. thanks, bro)
Anyway, that's my history with music.
But what I really want to talk about is, Classical and Western music.
Carnatic Classical and Western (both classical and pop) music.
As you already know (from previous blog posts), I listen to western music too. And yes there is definitely a 'Classical' western music and the famous hip-hop, pop music we all know. And I listen to both.
And I also love my Carnatic music too. It's like meditation. A form of release.
And I really, really hate it when people make faces at Carnatic Classical music. MY music, which I have learned and learned all my life.
Oh please don't think as to who would do it. All my friends around me hated classical music. They would tell me to shut up, whenever it came to music. 'Oh, it's a bore. All the dragging and the 'aaa's and the 'shaking the head' thing. I'll fall asleep'.
There are many people out there, who don't like classical music. Who listen to all the movie songs and don't even understand that it is from the same classical music, these tunes are born. The ones they love. I'm aiming this at them.
Here's the truth. You don't understand the beauty of classical music. The joy of singing all those verses from your stomach and crying with relief. The energy you receive from it. The calmness you feel. It has such a long history and such reverence.
Please don't just brush something off when you don't even know anything about it.
Okay, fine, you don't like classical music, but you don't have to be so stupid about it. I'm not forcing you to love something you don't. I won't do that. Forcing my opinions on someone else is not at all my intention. I respect all your opinions. This is just my views and what I have experienced being a classical singer. Just because you don't love something, doesn't mean you should condemn it. And talk bad about it.
'Dude, I don't like classical music. I can't explain why. I find it boring. I'm sorry but that's the truth'. If someone truthfully worded it like this, I would hug them. For their honesty and not talking bad about it but respecting the music too.
And also, western music. I love it too. And I've also been looked down for that too. Since I am a classical singer, I am expected to always listen to classical songs and not fast beats and pop songs, and especially "other language" songs (you know I'm talking about K-pop and Japanese). I don't care. I know I love both. There's beauty in both.
And I can't choose between the two. Please don't ask me choose between the two. Even as a joke. Both are a part of my life. I've learned from both.
I am who I am because of both.
So that's that. My little post about my world of music.
Hope you enjoyed reading it...
Stay Healthy, Stay Happy
Lots of Love,
P.S.: I'm working on a logo for my blog....and was just wondering how do you create a logo? I know that it's just a picture, but is there a software for it? or do I just use the 'Paint' software?? Eh, no idea. If you do know, please let me know..... :D